Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Change is good (?)


When papa arrived in the Mercedes, Mama packed our bags herself and put them in the car. Papa hugged Mama, holding her close, and she rested her head on his chest. Papa had lost weight; usually, mama’s small hands barely went round to his back, but this time her hands rested on the small of his back. I did not notice the rashed on his face until I came close to hug him. They were like tiny pimples, each with whitish pus at the tips, and they covered the whole of his face, even his eyelids. His face looked swollen, oily, discolored. I had intended to hug him and have him kiss my forehead, but instead I stood there and stared at his face.
            “I have a little allergy,” he said. “Nothing serious.”
            When he took me in his arms, I closed my eyes as he kissed my forehead.
            “We will see you soon,” Amaka whispered before we hugged good-bye. She called me nwanne m nwanyi—my sister. She stood outside the flat, waving, until I could no longer see her thorugh the rear windscreen.
            When Papa started the rosary as we drove out of the compound, his voice was different, tired. I stared at the back of his neck, which was not covered by the pimples, and it looked different, too—smaller, with thinner folds of the skin.
            I turned to Jaja. I wasnted our eyes to meet, so I could tell him how much I had wanted to spend Easter in Nsukka, how much I had wanted to attend Amaka’s confirmation and Father Amadi’s Pascal Mass, how I had planned to sing with my voice raised. But Jaja glued his eyes to the window, and except for muttering prayers, he was silent until we got to Enugu.
            The scent of fruits filled my nose when Adamu opened our compound gates. It was as if the high walls locked in the scent of the ripening cashews and mangoes and avocados. It nauseated me.
            “See, the purple hibiscuses are abouot to bloom,” Jaja said, as we got our of the car. He was pointing, although I did not need him to. I could see the sleepy, oval-shape buds in the front yard as they swayed in the evening breeze.
            The next day was Palm Sunday, the day Jaja did not go to communion, the day Papa threw his heavy missal across the room and broke the figurines.
(252-253)


            One of the main reasons I chose this passage was because of the way it showed just how much change has happened within the family. From the beginning, even Papa’s appearance has changed. He has lost weight, and his face covered with pimples. But, even more importantly, the relationships between the characters has shifted drastically. Kambili no longer wants to even hug her own father now (albeit he is covered in a pimply rash), while before she would obsess over pleasing him with her actions and words. Kambili’s relationship with her cousin has also changed, as there is now a mutual understanding of each other. Now, they are sisters, as Amaka calls Kambili. Yet, I think the most significant change in this passage is Jaja’s behavior, and the brother-sister relationship between him and Kambili. Kambili repeatedly mentions the way she and her brother talk with their eyes, that their relationship is so close that words are unnecessary. But now, it is as though he is delibreatily avoiding Kambili’s gaze, talking with her, as he stares out the window.
Something has also altered so deeply within Kambili that this place she calls home, the familiar smells and images, make her sick. Looking at the novel as a whole up until this point, I think all of what has happened to Kambili—her experiences at her aunt’s house, her beatings, her attempts to please everyone—have all been working together to reach this find moment of intense change in her life. And, I think the rest of the novel will look at how this change affects her.

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